its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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