You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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