waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
