I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
