My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
