So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
