K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm too high and old for this...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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