Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
