Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
