So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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