Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
only you would photoshop your dick
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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