The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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