he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
