well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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