the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
