I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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