i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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