halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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