you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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