I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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