I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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