No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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