We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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