Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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