I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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