glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
