you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
