Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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