I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I sprained my soul last night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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