And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think my moral compass just broke
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
