so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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