That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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