the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
