its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize