We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
