His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
