i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize