hotel room ftw
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
