Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
