I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
