A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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