Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
