Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
