She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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