chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
