Pants 0. Shit 1.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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