Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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