ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize