No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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