so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
