If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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