3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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