Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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