She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
