I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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