I wanna bring you to show and tell
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
