he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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