whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
