No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
